Henry David Thoreau T-Shirt
Henry David "Hank" Thoreau, right fielder for the American Canons, is what many fans would call a throwback.
Thoreau is of course a natural fielder, but sometimes his strong opinions about baseball conflict with each other. For instance, although Thoreau famously told the media that he was "determined to know bunts," when the team captain, Ahab, asked him to sacrifice Tom Sawyer over to second with a bunt one game against the Puncs, Thoreau refused to go to the plate. Ahab benched him for a day.
Thoreau enjoys the business aspects of the game as well. He's been known to brag about how little money his equipment costhe tanned and sewed his own glove, carved his own bat, even created his own cleats by fastening squirrels' teeth to his bootsand serves as the team's accountant. When buying the team's airfare, he always chooses economy class.
According to Thoreau, "Most players have at-bats of quiet desperation and go to the dugout with the home run still in them."
Q: Why does Thoreau like the outfield?
A: Because it's Walled-In.